


Ruins of all Derek Hale

by JustJim



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27918301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustJim/pseuds/JustJim
Summary: Laying awake at night, the dark thoughts can creep up.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Ruins of all Derek Hale

He was laying in the darkness, staring up ahead without seeing, lost in the thoughts he wished never resurfaced. Loneliness was something he had gotten used to, when his thoughts were so loud, screaming from the inside and he had been the only one to hear. It had been easy to be alone, nobody cared about his pain, his inability to sleep, his need to shut down the entire world. Days would turn into weeks and weeks could easily turn into months and nobody had cared what he was doing with his life. The emptiness of being alone had been bearable, because he never had to share it.

When he was upset, he'd shut himself down, too tired for anything, too exhausted to even care even though he'd force himself to get up each time to start yet another day. He told himself nobody cared, which had been not that far from the truth but he couldn't say that now, he knew some did care. He thought he deserved all the pain of all the negative thoughts wrecking him in the darkness of the night. He would latch onto all the changes in others, spending hours on thoughts of what he had done wrong to cause the changes.

He had gotten his family killed, no, he hadn't lit the match but Derek had been partially involved. He had gotten Paige killed. Erica.

Laura 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.

Boyd. He had chased Lydia off, like he chased everybody off. 𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩. The one that never really fit anywhere.

He destroyed everything around him and, worse, he destroyed himself. Which made everything he had now so....fragile. Cracks were already showing, he had managed to push away most but one, the one. It made him want to cling to the one, hold in tight so it wouldn't flee into the darkness of his dreams, but if he held too tight to something so fragile....Wouldn't it break and shatter and scatter in the the ruins of all Derek Hale?

The silence he used to revel in, it was deafening loud. Nothing but the soft heartbeats of his little family thumping away like a lullaby fading into whispers. If he'd lose them, if he had to be alone again, he wasn't sure if there was enough of him left to keep on going.

Solitude had been a blessing he had worn like a shroud, it was going to be his coffin if he had to wear it again.


End file.
